If You Want to Be a Leader, You’ve Gotta Embrace the Suck

Every hard thing you’re avoiding? That’s the gateway to the next level. That’s the suck. And that’s where the gold is buried.

Let’s get one thing straight right out of the gate: change is uncomfortable. Growth is painful. And leadership? That’s the full-contact sport of business. It’s not about barking orders or looking good in the boardroom—it’s about doing the hard things, especially when you don’t feel like it.

That’s what separates managers from leaders.

See, managers maintain. Leaders evolve.

And if you’re serious about becoming the kind of leader your team will actually follow into the fire, you’ve got to get damn good at one thing:

Embracing the suck.

Why We Avoid the Hard Stuff (and Stay Stuck)

Here’s the cold, hard truth. We are wired to stay comfortable. Our brains crave predictability. Comfort feels good. It’s easy. It’s safe. You know what to expect. No risks. No rejection. No exposure.

But that safety? That’s your cage.

You stay where it’s warm and easy, and guess what happens? You rot. Slowly. Silently. You become the same average, underperforming version of yourself day after day. You know you’re capable of more—but you’re not doing anything about it.

Sound familiar?

We all have that voice in our head that says, “I’ll do it next week.” Or “Now’s not the right time.” Or “I don’t want to rock the boat.”

Guess what? That voice is lying to you.

Growth never shows up at the perfect time. And it never feels good in the beginning. It feels like fear. Like friction. Like stress. That’s the signal you’re about to level up.

The Hard Truth About Habits

Here’s what most people won’t tell you: changing who you are as a leader doesn’t happen overnight. You don’t flip a switch and become inspiring, courageous, and strategic in one shot.

You have to build it.

That means breaking habits that feel natural but are holding you back—and replacing them with new ones that suck at first, but will eventually reshape how you think, how you speak, and how you lead.

And let me be real—it’s going to be awkward.

You’re going to mess up.
You’ll feel like an imposter.
You’ll doubt yourself.

But that’s the price. That’s the toll you pay on the road to greatness. That’s what reps look like.

So How Do You Embrace the Suck?

Good question. Here’s where the rubber meets the road. These are the uncomfortable, gritty, uncomfortable (yeah, I said it twice) things you’ve gotta do if you want to stop being a manager and become a real-deal leader.

1. Have the Tough Conversations

Stop hiding behind emails. Stop avoiding performance issues. Stop sugarcoating feedback.

That team member who’s been slipping? Pull them aside. Look them in the eye. Tell them the truth—with clarity and respect.

Is it going to be uncomfortable? Hell yes. But discomfort is the entry fee to accountability.

Reframe It: “I’m not doing this because I enjoy conflict. I’m doing it because I care enough to get better results—for them, for me, and for the team.”

2. Ask for Feedback—and Take It Like a Pro

You’re not perfect. None of us are. The moment you start acting like you’ve got all the answers is the moment your growth stops.

Ask your team what you can do better. Ask your boss where you’re falling short. And don’t get defensive when they tell you.

This is about sharpening your edge, not stroking your ego.

Real Example: “I used to talk over my reps in sales meetings. Thought I was helping. Turns out, I was just killing their confidence. One rep finally called me out. I wanted to snap—but I listened. Now I speak less, and my team sells more.”

3. Lead When It’s Inconvenient

Leadership isn’t convenient. It’s not supposed to be.

You’ll be tired. You’ll have a full inbox. You’ll have your own fires to put out. But when your team needs you, you show up—mentally and emotionally.

That’s the gig.

Leaders don’t punch clocks. They punch through barriers.

4. Own Everything—Even When It’s Not Your Fault

Your team screws up? That’s on you.
Miss a deadline? That’s on you.
Sales tanked this month? You guessed it—still on you.

Extreme ownership isn’t fair. It’s not easy. But it’s liberating.

When you stop pointing fingers and start pointing thumbs, you become unstoppable.

Start Small. Stay Relentless.

Let’s talk tactics. Because here’s where most people blow it: they try to overhaul their leadership style overnight.

You’re not going to change everything in one day. That’s not how transformation works.

Instead, you start small. You start today. And you do it again tomorrow. And the next day.

Here’s how you build your reps:

• Start with one behavior you want to change. Maybe it’s listening more. Maybe it’s delegating better. Pick one.
• Set a daily trigger. Every time you go into a meeting, commit to not interrupting. Boom—that’s your rep.
• Track your effort, not perfection. You won’t nail it the first time. But the fact that you’re trying? That’s the win.
• Review and reflect. At the end of the week, ask yourself: “Did I lean into discomfort? Or did I back off?” That’s your scoreboard.

Do this consistently, and I promise you—the new leader will emerge.

Final Thought: Pain Now or Regret Later

Let me leave you with this.

You can either suffer the pain of change now—or the pain of regret later.

One pain builds you. The other destroys you.

It’s not easy making the leap from manager to leader. But if you want to lead a team that performs, respects you, and follows you without question, you’ve got to step into the fire.

Not once.

Not occasionally.

Daily.

Online Courses

Visit Our Website RDL Training.com Check out our online courses and obtain the knowledge skills and tools you need to build your journey. Starting at only $47 Per month

Every hard thing you’re avoiding? That’s the gateway to the next level. That’s the suck. And that’s where the gold is buried.

So do the hard thing.

Lean into the discomfort.
Take the hit.
Own the result.

Because when it’s all said and done, nobody remembers the leader who avoided the pain.

They remember the one who walked into it—and came out sharper, stronger, and unstoppable.